**FUNNY JOKE**

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What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Now is the time for all men to come to the aid of their country."

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What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I am but one soldier in a holy war."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I think I'm in love."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"The facts of mathematics are verified and presented by the axiomatic method."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Maybe you've never seen a wildcat or a weasel."

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What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I think Bill is a serial killer, maybe."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Oh no . . . Not ANOTHER breathalyzer . . ."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Pissing in the bath is disgusting."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I just ran over a family of rats."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Look, a dead bird."

"Now is the time for all men to come to the aid of their country."

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What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I am but one soldier in a holy war."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I think I'm in love."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"The facts of mathematics are verified and presented by the axiomatic method."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Maybe you've never seen a wildcat or a weasel."

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What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I think Bill is a serial killer, maybe."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Oh no . . . Not ANOTHER breathalyzer . . ."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Pissing in the bath is disgusting."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I just ran over a family of rats."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Look, a dead bird."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Which way is the border?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"MY SHOELACES, AAAUUGH!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Let me pour forth my tears."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"You have had the audacity to take on human form and you are delighted."

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"Kids say the darndest things!"

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"I don't make deals."

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"If you shave a monkey, she looks just like a human."

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"In the northern darkness there is a fish."

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"Severe constipation can kill an elephant."

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"I stepped in a bear trap."

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"Where did Mom go this afternoon?"

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"I've never had champagne before!"

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"What is a pencil?"

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"I'm comfortable with who I am."

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"Boy, would I really like to hurt someone."

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"I'm feeling a lot of anxiety."

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"We're number one."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Remove the penis."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Oh by the way did you guys watch on FOX the other night that fantastic porno sci-fi flick…"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"What crime have I committed against heaven?"

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"Don't you think Flanders is a big jerk?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Mathematicians have developed habits of communication that are often dysfunctional."

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"I believe in non-violence."

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"I had an experience in 1976 with a very short green being."

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"No soup for you, Sammy Sosa."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh…..goooodddddd…..oohhhhhh…."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"We should be grateful."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I choose to smoke."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"This is earth."

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"I'm in good health."

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"Let's go on the bus together."

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"Wanna play house?"

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"The current system of education produces an army of robots rather than an army of thinkers."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"The earth is certainly vast and broad, though a man uses no more of it than the area he puts his feet on."

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"I've got to get your phone number."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"To use a horse to show that a horse is not a horse is not as good as using a non-horse to show that a horse is not a horse."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I think the cops are here."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"You know, I'd rather eat a sandwich."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I shot myself with a gun and then sued the gun company."

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"The most cost-effective medication is the one that works best for the patient."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I've forgotten benevolence and righteousness!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Once upon a time there was a smoldering Scorpio who pined obsessively for the object of his desire."

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"There's something special about specialists . . ."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I want you to meet my parents."

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"Jack, you sure do carry a lot of marijuana for personal use."

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"I was playing outside with my brother and three friends in the front yard of my folks, when we saw three silver disc-shaped objects flying over the house."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Umm are nuns allowed to have sex???"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Would you like to hear a lecture on the dead?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I will start by giving you a short explanation of petroleum geology."

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"Would you like a piece of cheese?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"We make a great team."

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"Soon the wait will be over."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Some bastard stole the front wheel of my bicycle."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"The small child stood there happily sniffing a handful of flowers–all the roses from my garden."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I won!"

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Custom Search

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Bouillabaisse!"

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"Two souls, alas, dwell in my breast, and each seeks to rule without the other."

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"Blueberries as big as quarters!"

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"Seeing you makes my inner labia moist with love lava."

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"The mayor is well thought of."

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"Uncle Ike, a doctor, smoked too much even though he continued to warn his patients not to smoke."

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"Matt always orders anchovy pizza."

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"Colon cancer kills 56,300 Americans a year."

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"Love can be magical, but it doesn't happen on its own."

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"In 1997, biologists discovered more than 16,000 minute species in caves in Spain."

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"Chalk one up on the BM chart."

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"Did I tell you I'm moving out?"

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"I am mother nature."

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"Gentlemen prefer blondes."

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"My 27-year-old daughter recently got engaged to a great guy from Cleveland."

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"Your life has a limit but knowledge has none."

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"You know what happened to the Romans?"

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"That's no infant."

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"There are five basic forces at work in the internet tax question."

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"Virtue is the establishment of perfect harmony."

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"It's regrettable that an anniversary of national anguish has been commandeered by the Clinton-Gore administration and many in the national media to advance their political agenda."

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"There is no evidence of anything sexual."

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"I received life because the time had come; I will lose it because the order of things passes on."

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"I will now explain what I think is a reasonable scenario."

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"Hey there people, I'm Bobby Brown."

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"I'm no good at math."

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"The only animals in this house are cats."

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"Answer me or I'll have you debrained!"

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"Do you have any children?"

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"In 1918, the Bureau of Reclamation submitted a report."

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"We're getting farther and farther away from France."

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"Is this a type of criminal action?"

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"Green is the color of hope."

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"We'll inflict severe punishment when we have more leisure."

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"How did you become familiar with this reputation of ours in the community?"

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"The creature may not be dead yet."

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"You have heard of the knowledge that knows, but you have never heard of the knowledge that does not know."

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"Well, I don't run the biology department."

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"American folklore has created a number of important national heroes, among them Abraham Lincoln."

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"I'm so hungry."

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"Nostalgia really sucks."

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"Hi ho Silver!"

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"I don't think this picture was taken from the rear bedroom window."

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"Oh, its so late, we should be getting home."

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"The Catholic Church went to hell about three or four centuries ago."

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"You know this doesn't mean I love you."

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"Our loving hearts and warm happy family await your newborn."

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"Why Martha . . . Your Sunday chapel dress!"

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"Are the Miranda warnings required by the Constitution, or are they merely safeguards?"

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"What the hell do you mean screaming up the stairs at me like that?"

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"It is easy to cheat when you work for men, but hard to cheat when you work for heaven."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"A cocoon-shaped shell of galaxies about 650 million light-years across is the largest structure found in the Universe to date."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Bing-bing-bong-BOOM!"

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"There are six stages along the mystic path."

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"There you are, my pet."

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"I saw some pigs nursing at the body of their dead mother."

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"I'm a doctor of the soul."

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"GOOD GRIEF–IT'S DADDY!"

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"I been to three county fairs and a goat-fuckin' and I ain't never seen the like of that."

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"Why, you small-time, chiseling bastard, you."

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"Please give this a chance."

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"Is there such a thing as supreme happiness in the world or isn't there?"

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"I think you've got the wrong person here."

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"Holy frigging God, what ecstacy!"

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"Nothing is more dangerous than an accomplice."

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"I much prefer you to a man!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"In March 1998, scientists at Tsukuba and Tokyo universities created insect robots by fusing the antennae of silkmoths with wheeled robots containing electronic ‘brains.'"

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"Who ARE you guys?"

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"One must have principles in matters of love."

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"One ball, one strike."

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"You're not human."

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"You little bastard."

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"Look, you're a professional."

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"I truly believe that you have the… true insight, the true wisdom, the true feeling, and I believe you know my great need of you!"

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"My cholesterol is very high."

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"What's your name, pal?"

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"Here comes Roger Maris."

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"I don't think I'll ever understand your family."

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"Nngghh! Gaah!"

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"This pencil is five inches long."

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"We all live like cockroaches in the crevices of our twisted imagination."

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"I hope my reputation will be founded upon my new deeds."

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"Come here, little one, I'd whip thee a bit."

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"You want a night's lodging?"

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"ARE ALIENS GREEN?"

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"You have acted nobly."

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"Why did you do that to my poor little boy?"

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"Run or you'll be shot!"

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"I can't see."

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"Shall I fix us some coffee?"

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"This is very interesting."

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"I want to make an inquiry if I might."

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"You will call me, won't you?"

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"I want to give myself to you."

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"Well, I can't condone thievery."

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"Cleveland is so much like Buffalo."

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"I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic."

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"Mmmph."

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"So, anyway, here we are, and I don't know how to proceed from here, frankly."

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"Would you like to get together Saturday night?"

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"More and more residences appear to be developed more for automobiles than their human occupants."

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"I won't learn from you!"

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"There's a rumor someone drowned in the sewer."

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"It is not the season for love."

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"My great-grandfather is the man in the photograph."

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"This isn't science as far as I'm concerned."

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"All former customers are welcome."

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"I feel a little low, you know what I mean?"

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"I want to teach botany."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I can't entirely hide my passion from you."

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"Take me to the nurse."

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"I'm not a demon; I'm possessed by a demon."

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"Is America's willingness to use force against Iraq just a continuation of previous policies?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"From the point of view of function, if we regard a thing as useful because there is a certain usefulness to it, then among all the ten thousand things there are none that are not useful."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"You like to do drugs?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I'm going to kill you."

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"To have the leader of the free world be persecuted in a public arena does nothing for the country."

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"I went to my family doctor first and he suggested I see you."

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"I am heartbroken."

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"This is not a crime."

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"Whoa, am I dead?"

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"I'm a little nervous, would you mind if I took off my shoes?"

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"I have garlic if you want to borrow some."

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"Biotechnology is reshaping space."

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"In a revolution, many things must be done."

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"I know that bad things happen to good people."

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"Basketball has given me every single thing in my life -- everything."

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"Why don't we make another appointment next week?"

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"You can't have the police knocking on the door at three o'clock in the morning, taking sixteen and seventeen-year-old girls to camps outside of town without laying the basis for assassination."

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"Welcome to my house."

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"It just sucks getting old."

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"Don't underestimate AT&T."

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"Please leave me alone."

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"The Statue of Liberty is an awe-inspiring national monument, symbolizing how America opened its arms to European immigrants."

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"I am not your lawyer."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I am your father."

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"I'm not a doctor."

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"I'm a national treasure."

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"Ted left a couple of hours ago."

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"It's late here and I got a big golf game tomorrow."

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"I have plenty of psychological debates with myself about the entities: are they really separate, are they aspects of me under the archetypal "other guy" image, are they aliens or ascended masters or… but really, I guess it doesn't matter."

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"With two guns I could control that bay."

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"Oh, you've been to France?"

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"I can't see the picnic tables."

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"I hear you snoring."

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"I've got a love for you that can only be cleaned up with a mop and bucket."

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"I'm so glad I'm not wearing my glasses."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I live in a city similar to other cities in the world."

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"In many spider species the maternal relationship ends when the eggs are laid, and the mother never sees her young."

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"Everything is disposable, including people."

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"I have a fork in my hand."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Two thousand years ago, a crew of members of the Kingdom of Heaven who are responsible for nurturing ‘gardens,' determined that a percentage of the human ‘plants' of the present civilization of this Garden (Earth) had developed enough that some of those bodies might be ready to be used as ‘containers' for soul deposits."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I'm not offering any credentials at this time."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"World reserves of uranium are more that adequate to satisfy reactor requirements to well beyond 2020."

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"This appears to be a result of my violent criminal history."

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"We can engage in a struggle for a better future."

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"This is small potatoes."

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"Two thumbs up!"

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"This just does not hold water."

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"I have redeeming qualities."

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"I have an interest in animals."

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"I have an idea about Sri Lanka."

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"Your hair's gotten so light."

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"Bob is touching me."

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"I have been married to a wonderful man for twenty-three years."

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"Napoleon Bonaparte's penis was removed at autopsy by a team of French and Belgium doctors and first put up for auction at Christie's in 1972."

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"Batter my heart, three-personed God."

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"Peyote rhymes with ‘Hey Jodie.'"

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"Punish me, baby."

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"Thank you all for coming."

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"How many more children must this happen to before somebody chooses to do something about it?"

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"What do light blue and dark blue have in common?"

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"I am not an athlete anymore."

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"Prepare your neural pathways for transmutation."

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"I want a victim."

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"One of the things that interests me at this particular moment is seahorses."

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"There's no known antidote for the Sudanese red spitting cobra."

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"I am looking at the garden of earthly delights."

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"When I came to I was in the hands of silent, unnameable surgeons."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"When the public finally realizes that they face a future of perpetual economic stagnation and decay due to the end of cheap oil, what's to prevent nuclear energy proponents from convincing them that nuclear energy promises the means of rescuing them from that fate?"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"Horse and oxen have four feet."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"I'm here to fix the swimming pool."

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?

"From now on it will be possible to talk to you about the Great Principle."

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